The Shelter/List of Episodes/1-5: You're Not Being Yourself
You're Not Being Yourself is the 5th episode in the 1st season of The Shelter. Faves3000 discovers his powers in this episode. Sypnosis (Plot details not final) After a crazy dream about being able to turn into anything he wants, Faves attempts to do this, only to find out he can. After this amazing discovery, he uses it to prank everyone, until it starts to get more and more malicious, until he pushes it just a little too far, causing a global catastrophe. Transcript Faves: awake Agh! Bob: Faves' bedside Oh, hey. Faves: The fuck are you doing in my room? Bob: Oh, you asked me to wake you up next up I happen to be up unnaturaly early. Faves: Well, what time is it? Bob: 3 AM Faves: Perfect. What are you even doing this up? Bob: I was trying to see if a piece of toast always landed butter side up. Unrelated note, there's a butter stain in the kitchen someone should probably clean up. Faves: Goddamnit... yeah, alright, just let me get up. THE KITCHEN Faves: It's too early for this shit... where are the paper towels? Bob: They should be on the counter. Faves: There aren't any. Bob: Well, then get a new roll. Faves: And where are those at? Bob: They're in the cupboard above the regfrigerator. Faves: Damnit, they're out of my reach. arm becomes long enough to reach them Got it! Bob: Uh... Faves? Faves: the long arm woAH HOLY SHIT Bob: How did you-!? Faves: I don't know! Can I put it back!? turns back to normal ...oh thank God. Bob: The fuck just happened? Faves: I don't know, but... I think it was related to this dream I had before you woke me up. I could turn into anything I want... Bob: You think you can do that? Faves: Maybe. Who do you think I should try this out as? Bob: Hmm... the entirety of GamerGate? Faves: I'm serious, Bob. Bob: Alright, alright, uh... Moch: asleep, walks in What's is going on? Do you know how early it is, or how loud you guys are? Faves: Yes, I'm well aware of... all of that, really. Moch: What are you two doing even? Bob: Faves thinks he can shapeshift. Moch: Really? Faves: Well, I haven't really done anyth- Moch: Can you turn into Shulk? Faves: I mean, sure... to transform into Shulk, but actually does Haha I'm feeling it now Moch: hooooOOOOOOHHHH MY GOD Bob: Moch, quiet down! I don't wanna wake anyone else up. Moch: Sorry, I'm just really excited. Faves: I guess you could say you're, really fe- Moch: Faves don't even. Besides, that's Shulk's thing. Faves: I guess you could wait until SHULK TIM- Moch: No. Faves: Oh. Well, I should turn back to normal. to do just that. Or better yet... into a female version of himself I'm gonna have fun with this. Moch: Sick. Bob: Oh my god... LATER Faves: asleep on a couch, still in his female form ACF: by, but stops at the couch Uh... can someone explain who this girl is? Faves: up Huh, what? Oh, hey ACF... ACF: How do you know my name? Faves: I'm... Faves? We've known each other for years? ACF: Oh, your Faves! I'm sorry... It's just- Faves: Yeah, yeah, I figured. Wait, nobody told you? ACF: No. I've heard your name mentioned a bit more than usual so I figured you did something, just... not this. Faves: Yeah I'm able to shapeshift now. ACF: Cool. Faves: Does anyone else know about this? ACF: I don't think so, just me and Bob. And I think Moch... Faves: Nice. Don't tell anyone. I have some plans. ACF: I'm totally telling everyone. Faves: Ugh, fine. - A montage of Faves dicking around with his powers begins - (Moch is eating some cereal at the table when he sees Barack Obama running into the Shelter) Obama: Quick, I need you guy's help! Moch: Nice try, Faves. I know it's you dicking around again. Obama: What? The safety of the entire world is in jeopardy! Moch: Yeah, I already fell for that when you were pretending to be Putin. Nice try. Obama: THIS ISN'T A JOKE! I stored the nuclear launch codes in the ground you guys built this place right over! And an attack is being planned against the US- Moch: YOU'LL NEVER FOOL ME, FAVES! YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR! (presses button that opens trapdoor beneath Obama, and the president falls in) (Faves walks in just seconds later) Moch: Oh, hey Faves. Moch: Moch: FUCK. Faves: What happened? Moch: Um... let's just say... Barack Obama walked in, I thought he was you, he said that the nuclear missle launch codes are beneath this building, I thought you were dicking with me more, I threw him into the dungeon- Faves: So, you threw the president into the dungeon while he was asking for super urgent missle codes that the fate of the world probably depends on? What the fuck man Moch: It's not my fault! You've been dicking around pretending to be celebrities and world leaders all day! So when Obama turns up on our doorstep I'm supposed to think that's it's the real deal? Faves: ...yeah, okay. Well come on, let's free Obama. (Moch and Faves run downstairs) Moch: Uh... so how do you enter the dungeon? Faves: I honestly think we didn't create an entrance into it because we assumed only our mortal enemies would be thrown in there. We didn't even plan on making one, we just found a cave and went with it- Moch: Then why do we have such a huge and tempting button to throw people in? Faves: I don't know. How should we get it? Moch: I have an idea! (pushes Faves onto panel and presses button) Faves: What- oh fuck. (falls) (Faves lands in huge cavern on their bum and sees Obama sitting next to him) Faves: Wow, that was a painful fall. Hi Obama, sorry about that, I got shapeshifting powers earlier today and my friend thought you were me. Obama: Oh great, I've heard about these shapeshifters. I was told after I was first sworn into presidency, but there's actually a group of people in the world who have a genetic mutation, and it gives them certain abilities such as- Faves: Okay whatever. Also, who's that dude? (points at fellow in trenchcoat, hunched in corner) Uh, hello? (taps on the shoulder only for a pile of bones to fall out of the trenchcoat) EUGH, that's disgusting. Obama: Yikes. Wait, what's that inside his coat? Faves: I don't want to touch it- Obama: It's a safe! (reaches into the rib cage to pull it out) And it's White House property! This has the nuclear launch codes! Faves: Oh, that's good! Obama: Good thing I found it, I was almost gonna tear down this entire shack so we could drill down and find it. Faves: Phew, that's good. Clever idea, too. Hiding the nuclear launch codes within a skeleton in a pre-existing seclusion beneath the earth in the middle of nowhere. Obama: Actually, that's not my skeleton. Faves: So that means... somebody snuck into this cave and... ate the missle plans? Obama: Hmm... (examines skull) the profile of this face seems to be of Canadian heritage. Faves: That's odd, you- Obama: The Canadians are the ones we need the codes for! Faves: ...why? Obama: (whispers something to Faves) Faves: (gasps) Stephen Harper, prime minister of Canada, is WHAT?! Obama: I know, it shocked me too. Faves: Wow, who knew the Canadian government would send people down here to eat missle codes to prevent nuclear war once people found out that Stephen Harper is the Illumin- Obama: Ssssh. That rock is triangle shaped and I don't want to risk it. Let's just find a way out and take these to the white house.... how are we gonna get out? Faves: I don't know. How did you get them in? By drill drone? Obama: Yes, actually. Faves: Huh. Hmm... I have an idea! (cuts to Moch upstairs, watching TV) Faves: (pops up from a hole in the ground with Obama) Finally, I made it out! Moch: Oh yeah, you were trapped. I already forgot. Faves: Excuse me?! Obama: You realize that you just left your friend and the PRESIDENT- Moch: Hey, I have a terrible memory of most recent events! Also, I thought Bush was the presi- Obama: Don't even get me started on that douche. Moch: How did you get out? Faves: Drills for hands. Duh. Moch: Neat. This shapeshifting thing is actually cool when used for good, not dicking around and getting the president trapped. Faves: Hey, you were the one who trapped him- Moch: Earlier today, you shapeshifted into Jesus and told me the rapture is today. Faves: ....touche. Obama: Well, I'll be going. It was cool being acquainted with you, Faves. Faves: Nice to see you too, Mr. President. Moch: Yeah, you're kinda cool. Obama: Whatever, dude who trapped me. I'm gonna pardon you for now but just so you know, don't do it again. Moch: Will I become enemy of the state if I do? Obama: Yep. Moch: Okay. Won't do it. (Moch tries to throw away an empty cup into the trash can, but he misses and it hits the button, causing Obama to fall into the trapdoor again) Faves: (glares at Moch) Moch: Moch: I'm outta here. (episode cuts to black) Credits Gag (cuts to scene of Moch on couch again) (there's a knock on door, and Moch answers it) Regis Philbin: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Regis Philbin, and I'm hear to give you one million dollars! Moch: Pfft, nice try Faves. (slams door) Faves: (walks in) Who was at the door? Moch: Moch: Fuck (cuts to Moch at store) Person There: Hey, you look familiar! Wait a minute, you're the guy we've been talking about! Your secret grandfather just died and you're getting all of the inheritence! We have a picture of you right here! (pulls out picture of Moch as a baby with grandfather) Moch: I have a secret grand- oh wait, shut up Faves. Just go away. Person: Oh, okay... (out of Moch's view, a super rich-looking old person is standing there) He rejected your inheritence proposals. Moch's Secret Grandfather: Oh well. Guess I'll just burn this money. Don't need it anyway. Moch: (back over where he is) Damn, what's with- Faves: (walks in) Hey Moch. Moch: Moch: Fuck. (cuts to scene of Moch in bed) Shulk: (walks in, without shirt on) Moch, I've been wondering... I've heard rumors that you have a crush on me, and- Moch: (thinking) Wow, is this for real? Faves hasn't bothered me in a while... can it be? Moch: OF COURSE I'LL MAKE SWEET LOVE WITH YOU! (Shulk turns back into Faves) Faves: HA! Moch: THE ONE FUCKING TIME! Category:The Shelter Category:Pages by Faves3000 Category:The Shelter Episodes